Advice sms

☻Six Rules 2 B Happy…
Free Yr Heart From Hatred
Free Yr Mind From Worries
Make Yr Life Simple
Expect Less From Others
Give More 2 Others
Always Have a True Friend Like Me.
☻Instead of feeling inferior because someone else can do something you cannot do, concentrate on what you can do that others cannot.
☻A good heart and a good nature are two different issues
A good heart can win many relationships, but a good nature
can win many good hearts.
☻Loyalty to friends and loyalty to certain basic principles are essential to success in any sphere.
☻Anger is a short madness. Don't allow it to ruin longstanding relations.
☻In success and failure, in sunshine and rain, in prosperity and adversity be at peace with the world and with yourself.
☻Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself;
but don't relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you.
☻Take time to look- it is price of succesTake time to think- it is a source of power
Take time to read- it is a source of wisdomTake time to be friendly- it is a way of happiness
☻What you don't like happening to yourself, don't do it to others.
☻It is important to follow rules rather than to make rules.
☻Little advice to guys :"Always communicate with your girlfriends
as long as your parents
are paying the phone bills!"
it is attitude rather than your aptitude which determines your altitude
☻Thankfulness should be expressed, but you shouldn't ask for it.
☻Though you are travelling on the right path, if you take unneccessary breaks others will push you back.
☻If hardwork is you weapon then success will be you slave
☻Failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.
☻If you shed tears when you miss the sun; you also miss the stars.
☻Though you are travelling on the right path, if you take
unneccessary breaks others will push you back.
☻Do not worry about failure. Worry about all the chances you miss when you don't try.
☻It is better to forget and smile rather than remember and be sad.
☻People who believe a problem can be solved tend to become busy solving it.
☻Be clean in all matters and you will never be ashamed.
☻In life knowing how to lose is just as important as knowing how to win.
☻Miracles do occur, but one has to work hard for them to happen.
☻It is better for us to feel bad rather than to make others feel bad.
☻Don't waste your time with jealousy. Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes behind. The race is long and in the end its only with yourself
☻Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is some light near by.
☻A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer
☻If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble upon something
☻Be there when people need you.
☻Watch the sun rise atleast once a year.
☻Be prepared and some day your chance will come.
☻Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today.
☻Understand that friends come and go. But you should hold on to a precious few.
☻When I hear someone say "life is heard" I am tempted to ask "compared to what
☻Before You Speak-Listen!
Before You Write-Think!
Before You Spend-Earn!
Before You Criticize-Wait!
Before You Pray-Forgive!
Before You Quit-Try!
Before You Die-Live…
☻Shoot for the moon... cause even if you miss you will end up in the stars
☻Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

SMS Jokes

 News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog,, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busydog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves
tension in this time of down-sizing,
Knock, Knock.

Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

 
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do
you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is
hrough his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of
body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

Fool and funny Sms

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hai ki duniya
wale dekh ke jal jate hai, yu toh hum sabhi ko ULLU banate hai, lekin aap thoda JALDI ban jate hai...
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We've known each other for quite a while now, do u think we can b more than friends? cos i like u very much. will u b my partner 2 rob a bank
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U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS.
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A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
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So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE
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Legs utha ke karo.
Tange feala ke karo.
Ghuma ghuma ke karo.
Aage peechey dono taraf karo.
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga.
*Ramdev ji ka yoga.
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For pepsi "shahrukh"
For coke "aamir"
For mirinda "vivek"
For fanta "rani"
& For Thums Up "Akshay"
Don't worry
For Bante wala soda "You"
Cheers !!!
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When things go wrong
When sadness fills your heart
When tears flow in your eyes
Always remember 3 things
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.
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I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.
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In your life, when you wake up & don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST
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Yaad hai ham pehle kahan milte the...... train ruki, khidki khuli, nazro se nazre mili aur aapne kahan,..... ALLAH KE NAAM PE KUCH DE DE BABA!!!!!!
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If u don't mind
If u don't feel bad
If don't hesitate
Please......
give me a
K
ki
kis
kiss
kiss......
kissan jam bottle
just RS.22.50 only. soon......
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I
I l
I lo
I lov
I love
I love you...
I love you the most.
I love you the best.
I love you a lot..
Bcoz MENAKA GANDHI said " People should LOVE animals.
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Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...
" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"
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I Miss you a Lot Dear.SENDER:
Aishwarya Rai
+919542496632
Message centre:
+919540099996
" Don't get excited. She sent It to me."
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Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!
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If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur
hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.
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MAKAYA, HAKAYA, RUMBHA, ZUMBHATIMBAK, TUMBA, JINGALA JINGA, RAGIRA, VAGIRA, HELULU, HETATA, NARAKA, HIBAHA. Congratulations!! u r perfect AADHIVASI.
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Your girlfriend is:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
In short she is your S.I.S.T.E.R.
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Roses are Red
Sky is Blue
My Bitch is Pregnant
Thanks to You....
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This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.
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Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.
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When are you going to marry me? I can live without you. I love you dear, marry me
within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.
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Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB
(hint-
it should be 5)
Read caps word reversely.
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Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...

book from your bag and study.
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U will be a ROSE for all TREES
U will be a SMILE
for all FACES
U will be WATER FALLS for all HILLS
&
U will be a BROHTER
for all CUTE GIRLS .
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Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai
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When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness &
after if u pray &ur still in darkness
, pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL
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All ways keep your LOVER'S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...
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If people says you are crazy, be patiend.
if they say you are monkey, relax. if they say you are stupid,be cool but if they say you are smart, Thapad maar sale ko.
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I am sorry yaar, aaj tak maine tujhe avoid kiya,kai bar tujhse bat nahi ki,tujhse hath nahi milaya,
Sorry yaar mujhe pata nahi tha ki “AIDS” chhune se nahi failta.
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I wnt u to b wit me in a nice restaurant 2 hav CandleLight Dinner & say thos 3 sweet word 2 u.Pay The Bill
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The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......
Can I sell you?
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Ek bar kuch bandar jangal se bhag gaye phir wo hotel mein phuchen unme se ek pizaa kha raha tha ek burger kha raha tha aur kuch bade dhayan se ye message parh rahe the.
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True love is like an pillow, u can hug when you are in trouble, you can cry when you are in pain & u can embrace when you are happy. So when u need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.
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When u feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute". U will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit.
Coz liars go to hell.
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Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.
Its on 1st of April. Surprised?
Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled.
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If you are in tension,
If nothing seems right,
If u find no way out,
Then just think of me only once,
I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.
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When u feel lonly n alone & canot see any 1 around u,the wrld seems 2 b fading away,com along wit me I'l tak u to an eye specialist.
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If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still cute. If u fwd this,
ur  spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
 this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!