CrAzY jOkEs

Trouble sleeping

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

Low self-esteem

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

Loud, mad, or sad

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

I often feel guilty

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!

Better relationship

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

Emotional extremes

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

Doctors meeting

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.

Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."

The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."

Ugly person illness

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch." 

Scared sleeping

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever

come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" 

Promoting an office

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !

The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :

Psycho-
the-
rapist.

Crazy people talk

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?" 

Solving a problem

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Classic Jokes

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

---

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."

---

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"

---

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

---

A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."

---

A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house." Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language.

Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".

"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the bitch in the kitchen."

---

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them"

---

A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."

---

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

---

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for  while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."

---

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

---

Mr.Johnson and his secretary are on a train to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, I'm a little cold, could I borrow your blanket? The man says how would you like to be Mrs. Johnson for awhile? The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. Then he replies, good, then you can get your own damn blanket.

---

A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".

---

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

---

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come". The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come"? and the Indian replies, "ear sticky".

---

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned '14.........14.........14.......14.'

A poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Advice sms

☻Six Rules 2 B Happy…
Free Yr Heart From Hatred
Free Yr Mind From Worries
Make Yr Life Simple
Expect Less From Others
Give More 2 Others
Always Have a True Friend Like Me.
☻Instead of feeling inferior because someone else can do something you cannot do, concentrate on what you can do that others cannot.
☻A good heart and a good nature are two different issues
A good heart can win many relationships, but a good nature
can win many good hearts.
☻Loyalty to friends and loyalty to certain basic principles are essential to success in any sphere.
☻Anger is a short madness. Don't allow it to ruin longstanding relations.
☻In success and failure, in sunshine and rain, in prosperity and adversity be at peace with the world and with yourself.
☻Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself;
but don't relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you.
☻Take time to look- it is price of succesTake time to think- it is a source of power
Take time to read- it is a source of wisdomTake time to be friendly- it is a way of happiness
☻What you don't like happening to yourself, don't do it to others.
☻It is important to follow rules rather than to make rules.
☻Little advice to guys :"Always communicate with your girlfriends
as long as your parents
are paying the phone bills!"
it is attitude rather than your aptitude which determines your altitude
☻Thankfulness should be expressed, but you shouldn't ask for it.
☻Though you are travelling on the right path, if you take unneccessary breaks others will push you back.
☻If hardwork is you weapon then success will be you slave
☻Failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.
☻If you shed tears when you miss the sun; you also miss the stars.
☻Though you are travelling on the right path, if you take
unneccessary breaks others will push you back.
☻Do not worry about failure. Worry about all the chances you miss when you don't try.
☻It is better to forget and smile rather than remember and be sad.
☻People who believe a problem can be solved tend to become busy solving it.
☻Be clean in all matters and you will never be ashamed.
☻In life knowing how to lose is just as important as knowing how to win.
☻Miracles do occur, but one has to work hard for them to happen.
☻It is better for us to feel bad rather than to make others feel bad.
☻Don't waste your time with jealousy. Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes behind. The race is long and in the end its only with yourself
☻Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is some light near by.
☻A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer
☻If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble upon something
☻Be there when people need you.
☻Watch the sun rise atleast once a year.
☻Be prepared and some day your chance will come.
☻Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today.
☻Understand that friends come and go. But you should hold on to a precious few.
☻When I hear someone say "life is heard" I am tempted to ask "compared to what
☻Before You Speak-Listen!
Before You Write-Think!
Before You Spend-Earn!
Before You Criticize-Wait!
Before You Pray-Forgive!
Before You Quit-Try!
Before You Die-Live…
☻Shoot for the moon... cause even if you miss you will end up in the stars
☻Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

SMS Jokes

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested The longest sentence known to man: "I do." CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime? This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog,, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busydog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream! ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction. Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p. Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs. I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears... There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing? What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat the crap outta him. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore. What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish. Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.   Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind! What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet? The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh! What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice already! What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie? One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up. Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!! Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is hrough his stomach is aiming just a little too high. I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half. I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one. How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut. For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

Fool and funny Sms

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hai ki duniya
wale dekh ke jal jate hai, yu toh hum sabhi ko ULLU banate hai, lekin aap thoda JALDI ban jate hai...
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We've known each other for quite a while now, do u think we can b more than friends? cos i like u very much. will u b my partner 2 rob a bank
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U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS.
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A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
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So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE
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Legs utha ke karo.
Tange feala ke karo.
Ghuma ghuma ke karo.
Aage peechey dono taraf karo.
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga.
*Ramdev ji ka yoga.
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For pepsi "shahrukh"
For coke "aamir"
For mirinda "vivek"
For fanta "rani"
& For Thums Up "Akshay"
Don't worry
For Bante wala soda "You"
Cheers !!!
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When things go wrong
When sadness fills your heart
When tears flow in your eyes
Always remember 3 things
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.
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I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.
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In your life, when you wake up & don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST
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Yaad hai ham pehle kahan milte the...... train ruki, khidki khuli, nazro se nazre mili aur aapne kahan,..... ALLAH KE NAAM PE KUCH DE DE BABA!!!!!!
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If u don't mind
If u don't feel bad
If don't hesitate
Please......
give me a
K
ki
kis
kiss
kiss......
kissan jam bottle
just RS.22.50 only. soon......
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I
I l
I lo
I lov
I love
I love you...
I love you the most.
I love you the best.
I love you a lot..
Bcoz MENAKA GANDHI said " People should LOVE animals.
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Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...
" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"
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I Miss you a Lot Dear.SENDER:
Aishwarya Rai
+919542496632
Message centre:
+919540099996
" Don't get excited. She sent It to me."
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Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!
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If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur
hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.
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MAKAYA, HAKAYA, RUMBHA, ZUMBHATIMBAK, TUMBA, JINGALA JINGA, RAGIRA, VAGIRA, HELULU, HETATA, NARAKA, HIBAHA. Congratulations!! u r perfect AADHIVASI.
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Your girlfriend is:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
In short she is your S.I.S.T.E.R.
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Roses are Red
Sky is Blue
My Bitch is Pregnant
Thanks to You....
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This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.
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Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.
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When are you going to marry me? I can live without you. I love you dear, marry me
within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.
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Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB
(hint-
it should be 5)
Read caps word reversely.
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Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...

book from your bag and study.
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U will be a ROSE for all TREES
U will be a SMILE
for all FACES
U will be WATER FALLS for all HILLS
&
U will be a BROHTER
for all CUTE GIRLS .
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Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai
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When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness &
after if u pray &ur still in darkness
, pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL
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All ways keep your LOVER'S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...
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If people says you are crazy, be patiend.
if they say you are monkey, relax. if they say you are stupid,be cool but if they say you are smart, Thapad maar sale ko.
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I am sorry yaar, aaj tak maine tujhe avoid kiya,kai bar tujhse bat nahi ki,tujhse hath nahi milaya,
Sorry yaar mujhe pata nahi tha ki “AIDS” chhune se nahi failta.
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I wnt u to b wit me in a nice restaurant 2 hav CandleLight Dinner & say thos 3 sweet word 2 u.Pay The Bill
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The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......
Can I sell you?
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Ek bar kuch bandar jangal se bhag gaye phir wo hotel mein phuchen unme se ek pizaa kha raha tha ek burger kha raha tha aur kuch bade dhayan se ye message parh rahe the.
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True love is like an pillow, u can hug when you are in trouble, you can cry when you are in pain & u can embrace when you are happy. So when u need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.
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When u feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute". U will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit.
Coz liars go to hell.
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Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.
Its on 1st of April. Surprised?
Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled.
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If you are in tension,
If nothing seems right,
If u find no way out,
Then just think of me only once,
I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.
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When u feel lonly n alone & canot see any 1 around u,the wrld seems 2 b fading away,com along wit me I'l tak u to an eye specialist.
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If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still cute. If u fwd this,
ur  spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
 this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!